How To Be Authentic: A Guide to Embracing Your True Self

For years, I walked through life believing I was just being me. I laughed, socialised, and adapted to different situations effortlessly... at least, that is what I thought. However, when I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50, something profound clicked.

I had not just been adapting; I had been masking.

Masking is what so many neurodivergent individuals do without even realising it. We contort ourselves to fit into a world that often feels overwhelming, trying to meet expectations that were not made for us. I spent so long presenting what I thought was ME that when the mask came off, I wasn't sure what was underneath or who I was anymore. What did I ACTUALLY love, believe, and value?

It was like meeting myself for the first time.

That is when my long journey to finding out who I am started and why being AUTHENTIC is my number one VALUE.

What Is Authenticity?

Authenticity is living in alignment with who you truly are ........ your thoughts, values, emotions, and unique quirks without fear of judgment or rejection. Authenticity is about showing up as yourself and not as the version you think the world wants to see.

Learning how to be authentic allows you to build deeper connections and live a more fulfilling life.

Being authentic is not just about expressing your personality.........it’s about staying true to your values and beliefs, even when it’s difficult. When you compromise on what truly matters to you, whether to avoid conflict or gain approval, you slowly lose connection with yourself. Real authenticity means making choices that honor your deepest beliefs rather than bending to external expectations.  

Being authentic means:

- Embracing your strengths and weaknesses without apology

- Speaking your truth, even when it’s uncomfortable

- Making choices based on your values rather than external pressure

- Letting go of perfection and allowing yourself to be human

 

Why Authenticity Matters

Many of the women I coach are juggling a million things -  careers, family, personal growth all while feeling like they are not quite measuring up. They often feel disconnected from themselves because they have spent years prioritising what others need or expect of them.

The result? Burnout, imposter syndrome, and a lingering sense of dissatisfaction.

When you are not living authentically, it is exhausting. You are constantly filtering yourself, trying to fit into moulds that were never meant for you. 

But when you embrace who you are, unapologetically and fully, everything shifts:

- You feel lighter .....No more second-guessing or over-explaining.

- You attract the right people ......The more “YOU” you are, the more you draw in those who truly align with your values.

- You build unshakeable confidence ........ Knowing who you are means standing strong in your decisions and boundaries.

How to Be Authentic in Your Daily Life and Step Into Your True Self

Authenticity is not about suddenly shouting from the rooftops or oversharing everything with everyone. It is a journey of self-discovery, one step at a time. The Key is to start small and gradually build confidence in showing up as your true self. Here are some ways to begin:

 
1. Recognise Where You Are Masking

Ask yourself: Where in my life do I feel like I have to PERFORM? When do I filter my words, tone down my enthusiasm, or pretend that I am okay when I am not? 

Identifying these moments is the first step to peeling back the layers and understanding how to be authentic in your daily life.

 
2. Reconnect With Your True Desires

What makes you feel alive? If no one else’s opinion mattered, how would you spend your time? 

I found that journaling and having an honest conversation with myself helped me rediscover passions and preferences that had been buried under years of external expectations.

 
3. Let Go of People-Pleasing

This one is tough but crucial. Start by setting small boundaries. 

Say NO when you mean it, prioritise your needs, and allow yourself to be disliked. The right people will love you for who you truly are.

4. Stay True to Your Values

Identify your core values, what truly matters to you in life, relationships, and work? 

Then, start making decisions that align with those values, even when it is uncomfortable.

Authenticity is not just about how you express yourself; it is about standing firm in what you believe, even when the world pushes back.  

 
5. Embrace Imperfection

Authenticity is not about being perfect. Authenticity is about being real. 

Give yourself permission to be messy, uncertain, and human. The more you embrace your imperfections, the more others will feel safe to do the same around you.

 
6. Surround Yourself With The Right People

Find those who make you feel seen, understood, and accepted. Whether it is a community, a coach, or a close friend, having support in your journey makes all the difference.


Living Authentically Is Freedom

If you have been wondering how to be authentic, the first step is to give yourself permission to be exactly who you are. 

Stepping into your authenticity is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself. You do not have to keep up a façade, live by someone else’s rules, or shape-shift to fit into spaces that do not honour the real you.

For me, authenticity meant unlearning years of masking and finally getting to know myself, quirks and all. Now, as a coach, I help other women do the same. Life is too short to live as a watered-down version of yourself.

If you are ready to start YOUR journey towards authenticity, take the first step and reach out to me. Together, we will strip away the layers and help you step fully into who you were always meant to be.

Check out my Free Guide, The Path to Feeling Like Yourself Again: A Guide to Reconnecting with Your True Self.  Download the guide here.